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Sand and Stars

19 years old
Never been away from home before

Provincetown in the off season
Evenings on the chilly beach

I sat in my Rabbit,
watching the sky through its moon-roof

My first ever shooting stars
Over and over, night after night

I might've taken it as a sign to stay,
but nonetheless, I went home again.

And never in the many years since
have I ever seen anything like it.

Comments

( 26 comments — Leave a comment )
x_disturbed_x
May. 25th, 2013 12:14 am (UTC)
I like this poem! It's short but I like the theme of it. :)

Good luck in SCI!
dawnstar
May. 25th, 2013 04:43 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

It was longer in the first draft, but it included a bunch of stuff that was irrelevant to the theme and I decided I liked it better with a focus on the imagery rather than backstory.
kajel
May. 25th, 2013 12:26 pm (UTC)
This painted a pretty picture in my mind. Good job!
dawnstar
May. 25th, 2013 04:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :) It was a pretty picture in reality, as I recall, too.
myrna_bird
May. 25th, 2013 02:59 pm (UTC)
Nicely done. I love when meteor showers are forecast. I even get up in the middle of the night just to try to see a few.
dawnstar
May. 25th, 2013 04:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I'm not a get-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night kind of person, but I love when I just happen to catch a glimpse of shooting stars.
myrna_bird
May. 25th, 2013 07:26 pm (UTC)
have you ever seen the Aurora Borealis ( Northern Lights)? That is my absolute favorite natural phenomena. I have only seen them 3-4 times in my whole life for real but I look at pictures on the web.
dawnstar
May. 27th, 2013 09:41 pm (UTC)
I haven't! I would love to, one of these days, most definitely.
tatdatcm
May. 26th, 2013 12:45 am (UTC)
Lovely poem and such nice imagery. You say a lot with a few words.
dawnstar
May. 27th, 2013 09:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much. The imagery was definitely much more the point than the words. :)
sweeny_todd
May. 26th, 2013 12:43 pm (UTC)
I like the focused way you have done this. very pretty.
dawnstar
May. 27th, 2013 09:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
cheshire23
May. 27th, 2013 12:42 pm (UTC)
I can picture the whole thing, very strongly. Nice work! <3
dawnstar
May. 27th, 2013 09:42 pm (UTC)
Thanks, sweetheart. :)
medleymisty
May. 27th, 2013 09:16 pm (UTC)
Oh, I liked this! I wanna see pics of it now!
dawnstar
May. 27th, 2013 09:44 pm (UTC)
I would happily post them, if I had any! This memory was from about 17-18 years ago, and I was a poor college dropout, who sold half her belongings to make the trip... and then didn't even end up staying!
kandigurl
May. 28th, 2013 02:52 am (UTC)
I feel like this poem has a story behind it, one I'd be interested in hearing. It piqued my interest!
dawnstar
May. 28th, 2013 04:34 pm (UTC)
The story is full of twists and complications, but the short version is that I was going to move to P-Town with my then best friend, and while it was home to him, it didn't feel right to me. Either I wasn't ready to leave home yet (I never lived outside of the county I was born in, until I was 26, and after 10 years away, I came back again), or that wasn't the right place, or my instinct told me it wasn't a good move because of some drama which would later arise between the friend and I. For whatever reason, I was home again after 2 weeks there, and he remained there with his boyfriend.
jennickels
May. 28th, 2013 02:53 am (UTC)
I remember my first shooting star. I was 33. Hazard of growing up in a big metro area (Chicago--we don't really have stars there). It was amazing, something I'll never forget.

dawnstar
May. 28th, 2013 04:35 pm (UTC)
I grew up in the country, and still made it to 19 without seeing one! In fact, I could probably count on one hand the number of times I've seen them in my lifetime.
bewize
May. 28th, 2013 02:23 pm (UTC)
Lovely. I could really see and feel this.
dawnstar
May. 28th, 2013 04:35 pm (UTC)
Thank you, very much! :)
fourzoas
May. 28th, 2013 03:38 pm (UTC)
I liked the sense of simplicity and longing here.
dawnstar
May. 28th, 2013 04:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Nature always seems to carry that sense with it, I think. :)
lrig_rorrim
May. 28th, 2013 04:06 pm (UTC)
There are a couple of different meteor showers throughout the year - it sounds like you caught a winter one! My favorite is The Perseids, which happen in August. Slapping at mosquitos and staring into the sky for those beautiful streaks of light is always a good time.

This is a lovely poem, and I think you did well to condense it down to these essential lines. Well done!
dawnstar
May. 28th, 2013 04:37 pm (UTC)
It was spring, rather than winter. Early- to mid-May, if I recall correctly.

I think I would disagree that "slapping at mosquitos" would ever be part of a good time, for me... but the rest, I definitely agree with! :)
( 26 comments — Leave a comment )

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